50 First Weights
Dear Barb,
I’m struggling with large breeds. I love them, but in a mobile setup they can be near impossible to groom. I don’t want to say no to big dogs, so how do you make it work?
Dear Feeling Small,
Ah yes. Large dogs in a mobile space. Equal parts ambition, optimism, and sore shoulders.
This one has Rhonda written all over it. Big bodies, small spaces, and the slow realisation that love alone does not replace physics.
RHONDA SAYS
You’re currently starring in a Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler reboot called 50 First Weights.
The weights are Malamutes and Bernese Mountain Dogs, and it’s less romantic comedy and more low-budget horror.
Let’s be clear. Big dogs are doable in a mobile setting. But they are not Maddie the Maltese with a growth mindset. They require a completely different approach.
First things first. Know your limits. Your fold-down table does not have the same weight rating as a salon table, and your bath probably doesn’t either. These numbers are not suggestions. They are the difference between a long career and a workers comp form.
If your equipment can’t safely support the dog, the conversation stops there.
Next. Owners need to get their own dogs inside.
Repeat after me: “I can guide, but I don’t lift.”
Your grooming course covered coat types and handling, not forklifting. While a dog grooming career was your choice, the Tibetan Mastiff was theirs.
Have the owner walk the dog up the ramp. You are not pushing, pulling, or negotiating with the equivalent of an uncooperative freight train stuck in reverse. That’s not being difficult. That’s basic occupational health and safety.
Now let’s talk service menus, because this is where people get brave and regret it later.
Big dogs take big time. Price accordingly, and only offer what you can actually do safely. If large breeds don’t fit comfortably on your table, that’s fine. You might only offer bath and tidy services over a certain size. That’s not a failure. That’s good judgement.
Which leads nicely to this. Simplify the groom.
Mobile grooming is sometimes modified grooming. Focus on hygiene, comfort, and practicality. Do not attempt a competition-level finish on a dog you need to rotate like a woolly mammoth on a spit roast.
Dry with intent.
Big dogs do not dry in small spaces without time, power, and a plan. Hit the densest areas first. Use towels properly (and chamois, people! B.TT). Work in sections. Accept that this is a process, not a miracle.
At some point, you also need to decide which dogs you don’t take.
Anyone who gets upset about boundaries is usually the exact reason you need them. Some dogs simply require equipment that mobile setups do not have.
Generally mobile-friendly large breeds might include Labradors, Goldens, Border Collies, Aussie Shepherds, German Shepherds. Usually not so friendly are Malamutes, Bernese Mountain Dogs, Newfoundlands.
This doesn’t have to be about breed. You can set a weight limit instead. We’re not fat-shaming. We’re acknowledging that some dogs need two seats on an aeroplane.
Large dog grooming in a mobile space is essentially pilates with power tools. If you think that sounds easy, you haven’t attended a Wednesday night class with my friend Wilma at her very serious women-only gym.
Big dogs can work in mobile grooming, but only if you respect your body, your equipment, and your space. This is very much a Willie Nelson school of thought. Pace yourself or don’t last. If a dog is consistently putting you or your setup at risk, practise this sentence one last time: “I won’t be able to groom your dog moving forward. The space just isn’t safe or suitable.”
That’s not quitting. That’s longevity.
If the dog exits calmly and you do not, adjustments are required. Loving big dogs shouldn’t require lifelong physio, poppet!
Barb-bye!
