No Walk in the Park
Dear Barb,
What do you do when you pull up to a house and realise the parking situation is a nightmare? It gives me a lot of anxiety, especially with new clients.
Dear Posey Parker,
You know what I honestly believe? Parking a grooming van should be classified as an Olympic sport. People think grooming is all bows and brushing, but half the job is spatial geometry and performing three-point turns that would make a bus driver cry. And trust me - I’ve seen Rhonda pull off manoeuvres that defy physics and possibly local traffic laws. So I’m passing this one to the woman who has made peace with gravity, angles, towbars and fate.
RHONDA SAYS
Alright, let’s get one thing straight - parking anxiety is not a flaw. It’s a survival instinct. Driving a grooming van into some suburban streets feels like trying to land a plane on a garden path.
First thing: don’t blame yourself. Grooming requires skill. Parking requires sorcery. We’re not born knowing how to reverse a vehicle the size of a small whale into a driveway built for a hatchback.
Here’s what actually works:
Ask ahead. When you book a new client, just ask:
“Do you have a driveway or safe parking spot? I need a certain amount of space to set up.”
It’s so much easier when they’re expecting the question.Have a backup cable and hose. Sometimes the only safe spot is half a block away. That’s okay - just bring the hardware to make it work.
Train like a ninja. Find an empty lot at sunset, put on some Willie Nelson, and practice reversing and swinging your rig around until your hands stop sweating on the wheel.
Trust your instincts. If a driveway looks like a trap set for a rhinoceros - steep, narrow, booby-trapped with letterboxes and garden angels - you’re allowed to say: “I’m so sorry, but it’s not safe to park here today.”
That is a professional call.
And truly - clients are hiring you for your grooming, not for a live performance of “Swan Lake: The Reverse Parking Edition.”
The street will survive a crooked park. Your self-respect might not survive a 23-point turn with someone staring at you.
Could not agree more! Anyone judging your parking can go back inside and alphabetise their spice rack. The masterpiece happens on the dog, not with the steering wheel.
Barb-bye!
