Barking Mad
Dear Barb, is it unprofessional to ‘bark back’ at a client when they’re being unreasonable?
Dear Wanna-Woof,
Ah, the age-old question.
The client’s raised their voice, the dog’s howling in harmony, and you’re wondering if just once, you’re allowed to let your inner Rottweiler out for a quick woof of retaliation.
Let’s be honest - groomers are a special breed. We get bitten, yelled at, our tables pooped on, and occasionally blamed for a haircut that they asked for but the dog suited about as much as I suited straight hair. And yet, we smile, brush off the fur (and the attitude), and get on with our day.
But sometimes, a client will push you so far that even your most practical grooming noose can’t re-center you.
So, is it unprofessional to bark back?
Technically, yes.
Spiritually? Maybe not.
There are two kinds of “barking back”:
The emotional bark.
That sharp tone that slips out when you’ve had 16 coffees, 12 dogs, and zero patience left.
We’ve all done it. It’s human. But unfortunately, it’s also the one that usually gets remembered (and occasionally, reviewed online).The assertive bark.
This is where you stand your ground - calm, clear, and confident - without biting. I like to call it the “Barb bark”, because it’s short, polite, and impossible to argue with.
How to bark like Barb (without getting in trouble)
Keep your tone cool, not cold.
You can be firm without being frosty. “I understand your concern, but here’s how we handle it…” works better than “Listen, Karen.”
Use the power of pause.
When someone’s being rude, silence is your secret weapon. They’ll often fill the gap with an apology… or at least realise they’re barking at the wrong tree.
Rehome the conversation.
If a client starts getting heated, move the conversation away from the desk or the dog and prevent a public drama..
Don’t take the bait.
You know when a client says something like, “The last groomer never charged this much”? As satisfying as a quick fire “then why aren’t you still with them?” might be, it’s best to opt for something along the lines of “everyone works a little differently, this is our process”. Similar sort of mic drop, just slightly more graceful.
Let your policies do the barking for you.
If you’re constantly explaining the same boundaries, it’s time to put them in writing. On your website, booking forms, and business signage. That way, you’re not the bad guy… the policy is.
Barking back might feel good for five seconds, but professionalism lasts longer and earns you much better clients.
You don’t have to be a doormat, the job is much easier when lifting dogs with a backbone, but utilise calm confidence, not reactive rage.
Barb-bye!
