Clipped Wings
Dear Barb, What do you do when a co-worker keeps jumping in and “fixing” your grooms before you’ve finished? I know I’m still learning, but it makes me feel deflated – like I’m not trusted to get it right.
Dear One-Snip-Away,
Oh darls, that is a sharp one (and I’m not talking about the thinners they’re using all over your yet-to-be-finished product)
First and foremost, it’s important for you to know that your feelings are completely valid. There is a big difference between a co-worker offering up some handy guidance and what is blatant and unsolicited interference.
Imagine if every time you got dressed for the day your neighbour popped over uninvited, changed your shoes, threw a beanie on your head, and cut the sleeves off your new blouse. Unfortunately it sounds like what you’re dealing with has you shutting your curtains and trying to sneak out the back too.
Now, don’t get me wrong – there’s a time and place for a teammate to step in. A large dog is trying to throw themselves off your table. A dog needs to be finished by a certain time. A dog's about to kick your brand new straights off the table. But if it’s happening repeatedly, and without communication, what it really says is:
“I don’t trust you to finish this properly.”
And with that, my love, they might as well be taking a 30 blade to your coat of confidence.
So what can we do?
Check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Check the story you’re telling yourself. It’s always easiest to assume the worst. “They don’t respect me or my grooming” but it could be “she’s sharing her clientele with me, but knows the owner likes a tighter muzzle”. It doesn't make the lack of communication okay, but understanding intention can soften your approach.
Turn your mic on.
Speak up - kindly but clearly. For example “Hey, I really appreciate your experience, but I’d love the chance to finish my grooms myself. I’m trying to build my confidence – would you mind letting me know if you see something after I’m done, instead of jumping in mid-way?”
You’re not being rude, you’re setting a professional boundary which is something a good teammate should respect.
Own your journey and your progress.
Start a photo diary to track your grooms and then ask for feedback when you choose - not when feedback (whether that be silently through your coworkers uninvited scissoring) is thrust upon you.
Keep your standards high.
If you know there’s still work to be done and they’re stepping in because you’re dragging your feet, then maybe the neighbour was right to pop around and change your choice of footwear. So make a fair judgement about where you’re at as a groomer and if you think your co-worker might be warranted in needing to step in, ask if they have any suggestions on what you can do to enable you to finish your grooms.
The takeaway? You deserve the chance to grow without being constantly interrupted, hovered over and micromanaged.
Besides, you spent way too long styling your hair for them to insist you wear a beanie,
Reclaim your outfit, reclaim your table,
Barb-bye!
